JAC GW fic
by Abinikai
Summary: This is a story where the Gundam Characters come to our dimension, and they end up enrolled in my school. Many strange things happen. To get the jist of these...uh strange incidents, read the profile. Preview: Quatre is excessively gay, Heero is obsessed
1. Profile

Okay, Here's the rundown of the characters. I know you already know some of the characters, but it helps explain some things later.at least, I hope it does. You don't have to read it, but sometimes it's useful. It seems to get longer every time I see it. Maybe I should just stop where I am and let you figure out the characters on your own. But its fun! So I wont. You can flame me, yes you can, but I don't care, no I don't.  
  
  
  
Heero: He gets obsessed with coke, and is having trouble seeing that there are no missions in this universe.  
  
Trowa: He doesn't speak at all except for short, crisp, to the point phrases, as well as signs (if you've seen Ranma ½, it's like the signs Genma Saotome uses when he is in panda-form) that are only in Spanish. Hey, he's a Latino, what can you expect?  
  
Quatre: The excessively gay freak. At least, that's how he's portrayed. Sorry all you Quatre fans out there, but it made the fic interesting. He has a crush on Trowa, and is obsessed with Trowa's every move. And he gets into some ah.very INTERESTING situations. And he ends up with an all-girls fan club. It's the "extremely hot blonde rich prince" fan club.  
  
Wufei: He can't seem to beat Joe (another character/friend) at Karate, and he hate's Joe because Joe speaks bad Chinese. Also, everyone seems obsessed with hugging Wufei when he's off guard.  
  
Duo: He is often in fights with the "local" God of Death, otherwise known as Sam (another character). He befriends AC, a Pie lover, and is good at everything Heero isn't, of course.  
  
Okay, now for the characters you don't know.  
  
Cherry (ME!!!): Medium height, brown haired girl with brown eyes. Introduced as the overly hyper and smiling girl, who is always happy, giddy, and laughing. And that's how she remains through out the story. (writer)  
  
AC: The Pie lover.her favorite saying is "I like Pie," which is AC for "I'm so f'in' confused." She is medium height as well, with brownish-blonde hair and glasses. She likes to draw her own little things, and likes to dance in weird ways. Immediately befriends Duo as a Pie Lover. (writer)  
  
Joe: Short Chinese dude who can kick Wufei's ass at karate for some odd reason. He speaks very bad Chinese. He likes to do fancy moves in karate, and for some reason he drives fast. Often called Mo-Jo Jo-Jo (you know, the monkey off the Power-Puff Girls). (writer)  
  
Tisho: The really cool exotic dude. He is great at "Pump it Up," the dance machine, and for some reason, by default every time, he wins the "Martial Arts" competitions (i.e., Joe beating Wufei, Tisho beating Joe.some how. And for some reason he can't seem to beat Wufei up!)  
  
Justin: The extremely huggable, ultra-gay strait guy (you'll see.). He's tall, Korean (everyone needs a Korean to hug), and he has really cool long black hair. And he's really, really huggable. Did I say that already.?  
  
Sammi: She's the really cool Korean (there are a lot of Koreans.) girl who likes panties and the Gundam Thong Song (you'll see.) She's going out with Sammy (different person, same name). She's fine boned and has short, dark hair and dark skin.  
  
Sammy: So far, his only part in the whole entire story is going out with Sammi, but he's a cool Korean dude too. He's kinda short and Korean looking.really descriptive, huh?  
  
Chris: The really odd guy who writes down every single word that Trowa says. He's kinda short, and he has spiky blondish hair, glasses and blue eyes. He eats with chopsticks.what else.? Oh, and he seems to appear out of nowhere when Trowa talks.  
  
Ian: The really cool (and really tall) token black guy. He's kind of like the narrator.and he's also huggable...at least I think so. Oh, and he's also obsessed with the Game Boy Advance.  
  
  
  
Okay, so that's not all the characters. So what? Most of the other people really don't matter much.if some one important appears, I'll just do a profile thingy-ma-jig at the top of the page. Here's the characters that appear fairly often, but not as much as some others.  
  
Wolfy: Also known as Hellhound, and 'Riah. She's tall, with medium brown hair and brown eyes. She's going out with Curtis, a guy who won't appear as often because he graduated. She's really fun, and very blunt. She's got a cool English accent that we all make fun of her about because she looses it after spending too much time in America (she's from the Caribbean/England). She's very good at drawing.  
  
Marideth: Kinda short, with short brown hair. She's going out with Jared, and she loves him very much, at least, I think she does.  
  
Jared: Very, very tall, and he likes to wear baggy pants. He duct tapes his shoes together, and he's very good at Magic: The Gathering. He's blunt, and going out with Marideth, and he's good friends with Wolfy. Also known as "Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."  
  
Sam: Very cool, and definitely female. Often referred to as Shinokami, or the God of Death. She's short, and only Evan (a middle schooler) thinks she's tall (because he's even shorter). She's good at Magic: The Gathering, and she likes to buy clothes from Hot Topic. She's also very good at drawing.  
  
Mysti and Maja (pronounced Maya): Both great friends, and complete opposites. Mysti is extremely short, Maja is tall. Both like volleyball, and both are really good friends of 'the group,' our group of friends at school.  
  
Jessica and Kat: best friends, both short, both have dark hair (though Kat's is more red than brown). Kat always looses her hair ties and bums money off anyone who has any. Never call her Kitty or Snowballs, unless you want to die a horrible death at her hands. Jessica is often called Jess, but never ever Jessie, unless you want to die. They stick together through thick and thin, and both work up at the barn with the sheep and the cows (and Cherry works there.sometimes).  
  
James: He'll probably appear often. Good at pool. He's kinda tall (taller than Cherry), and he has bleach blonde hair.  
  
CT: Also called True or Trueheart. Really good at the Violin, which Cherry also plays. He rarely comes to lunch, so if he does, be surprised. And he is kinda pale, very tall, black hair and rarely wears any other colors than black, gray and white.  
  
Students who don't attend Coney School: People who are still good friends, but don't come to Coney School anymore. Curtis and Sammy, and Hunter (Cherry's other best friend). There are more, but those probably appear the most. 


	2. Chapter One: Never Press the Big Red But...

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, or anything else, and I never will, though it is against my will.  
  
Notes: I must give my credits. This story is not actually FULLY mine. It actually is the ideas of three insane people.Joe, Ashley, and Me. Ashley's drawing it, as a comic, Joe and I are writers. Ashley's helping writing as well. I'm just posting it on my account. Thanks! Please review. And if you're thinking of not reading, please continue reading. It's hilarious (or so we've heard)!  
  
Another Note: All people in this story are really people, except for the GW characters, and we don't own them. These are all instances that would happen if the GW characters came to my school. The only things that have been changed are the NAMES of the people (and the school).  
  
Yet Another Note: I shouldn't have to do descriptions of people, since I've done the profile already. Please don't sue me if you don't know what someone looks like. I'll try my best to get you to know how everyone looks, and if I forget someone's gorgeous (or ugly) looks just review me and I'll tell ya.  
  
Chapter One: Never Press the Big Red Button  
  
A typical day and Coney Private School:  
  
It was breakfast, and all around the Dining Hall was full of bright young students ready for classes to begin. Wait, what are we saying here.No one's bright and cheery this early in the morning. Matter of fact, no one wants school to start either. Ashley, Joe, Charlie, Cari, and Tisho sat around the breakfast table, eating their "breakfast" that kind of resembled gravy, mashed potatoes and cereal. "Man, how can they mess up cereal? It comes out of a box!" exclaimed Cari. "I dunno, but my mashed potatoes are okay.I think." Said Ashley. "That reminds me, Ashley, do you always eat with a knife?" "No. Just my mashed potatoes and gravy." "Oh.alright. And Charlie.how do you eat cereal with chopsticks?" Charlie shrugged. "I dunno. With great difficulty." "Why don't you use a spoon?" "But that means I have to get up!" Cari sighed and shook her head. It was too early to be a hyper person. Joe was just sitting there, giving odd looks and mumbling odd phrases. Tisho just looked.happy. No one knew why, he just looked happy. Jordan walked in the door. Ashley and Cari said in unison, "Jordan! Hug!" Charlie sighed and did his usual, 'I don't understand the point in this' attitude, and everyone else just ignored it. After getting her hug, Ashley turned to Cari. "You know, he is so huggable!" Cari exclaimed. Ashley nodded, quoting "Everyone needs a Korean to hug!"  
  
Meanwhile, in another dimension.  
  
Duo decided to break into the lab. While exploring, he saw a big, shiny red button (A/N: sorry, I love big, shiny red buttons). Duo was tempted to press it.and of course, he did. A loud alarm went off, and suddenly something went terribly wrong. Duo, along with the four other Gundam pilots, was transported to (dun dun dun) Coney Private School for Geeks without a Life.  
  
Duo was swirled through a pretty, colorful hole thingy that appeared above him. Off in the distance he saw Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei screaming at him. He made out the words "baka" and "Duo." A sign flew up and hit him, saying in bold letters, -¡Madre de Dios!- (Mother of God!) To his self, he thought 'But all I did was press the shiny red button!' Suddenly Duo was forced out of the little fantasy he was having about something or other when he landed on his back on a hard surface. His head was in something wet and gooey, and there was this shiny silver knife coming at his forehead. It tapped him softly. When she got no food, she glanced down. "Why did you land in my mashed potatoes and gravy?" asked a blondish haired girl with glasses. "My HAIR!" screamed Duo as he realized that the wet gooey stuff he landed in was the aforementioned mashed potatoes and gravy. As he frantically tried to get the stuff out of his hair, he succeeded in knocking the napkin holder, salt, pepper, and all plates, glasses and bowls off the table some how or another. The only one who had saved his food was Charlie, who was giving the person who landed on the table a very strange look. "Hey, now that you mention it, you look a lot like Duo Maxwell, of Gundam Wing," said Cari. "I am Duo Maxwell. What are you talking about?" Ashley scoffed. "Fuckin' poser." "OH MY GOD!" said Cari, who was suddenly snapped out of her tired attitude. "It's Duo!" She squealed and went into a babbling phase, and no one paid her any attention because that's what normally happened when Cari started to babble. The rest of the people just went and started to pick up the mess Duo made. "Try sitting in a chair, stupid," said Joe. "The teachers are about to come over here." "Oh, right." Duo slid off the table into a chair. "Is there food here? I'm starving. And how about a sink or shower to wash my hair?" "Yeah, there's food, but I'm not sure it's entirely edible. And you can use the guy's bathroom's sink. Through the double doors, on the left," said Charlie. "Thanks." Duo headed off to get the gravy and mashed potatoes out of his hair, and the rest of the people just sat and talked about this amazing phenomenon, a Gundam Character here, at this school. How cool! Soon after Duo had wolfed down two or three helpings of food (no one was paying attention, and he was eating everyone else's food as well as his), the Dining Hall closed for School to begin.  
  
**Meanwhile (imagine all Trowa's signs in Spanish.it makes it easier on my poor hands and bad Spanish) "Trowa, where are we?" asked Wufei, who was standing in the middle of what looked like a road. Trowa took the time to write and hold up a sign -I don't know-, but stayed away from the road. Suddenly a blue car was headed for Wufei. Trowa held up another sign, saying -Where's that idiot child Quatre?- "I don't know I haven't seen him around." Wufei had his back turned to the car. Another sign: -Thank god.Watch out.- "What do you mean? I can't read Spanish. Wait.then how did I know you were looking for Quatre-" Then the car hit him. Trowa held another sign. -Ouch.-  
  
**Okay, out of that little picture.about twenty minutes before that episode with Wufei and Trowa. ( means that Joe and Wufei are speaking in Cantonese)  
  
The school day went well. No incidents, expect when Duo poured hot coffee on himself because he didn't understand the Coffee Machine, and though it would give him some candy if he pushed the red button to pour it and held him hand underneath it. And then when all the ice came down on top of him, and the Senior Prank meant for the people actually enrolled in the school hit him and no one else, and then he got lost for an hour trying to find the boy's bathroom, which was upstairs. Okay, so a lot of things happened. All in a typical day for Duo Maxwell. After school, Joe offered to give a few people a ride to the Grill, and even though you could get to it quicker by foot, Ashley, Cari and Duo hopped in the car with Joe. Charlie walked, because Charlie knew better. Joe, as usual, started talking in the car. "You know, I don't have insurance for this thing," he said as he went 60 mph over the worst speed bump on campus. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a person was in the road. "Ahh! My car! I have no insurance!" shouted Joe as he slammed on the brakes and everyone in the car jolted forward, as well as the person on the hood flying off about five feet in front of the car. Duo thought to himself, 'You know, that kinda looked like Wufei. And the other person Joe left behind kinda looked like Trowa.' Wufei, thinking that no one could understand him, shouted in Cantonese, Idiot weaklings! Couldn't you see me here? Why aren't you driving where you're supposed to, anyway?! (True Fact: Joe's Cantonese is like Shampoo's Japanese, if you've seen it. He can understand it perfectly, but speaking it's another story.) Joe shouted out his window, You so so stupid, run in middle of road for me hit you! Wufei looked stunned. You speak Cantonese very badly. I must defeat you because you can't speak Chinese very well. You are defiling this honorable language. I know I speak bad! No need insult me! shouted Joe back. The rest of the people were trying to figure out what they were saying, and Ashley was laughing at his bad American accent, even though she didn't understand what was being actually said. Joe jumped out of the car, and took up a karate stance. Come at here, homo. Wufei ran at Joe with a loud scream, while everyone sat on the hood of the car to watch the show and read Trowa's interesting signs (which only Ashley and Cari and Joe understood). Joe dodged the attack, and with one blow he shoved Wufei to the side and knocked him unconscious. Joe finished with his short warm up. Tisho, who somehow or other ended up in this scene, accidentally popped the hood (with everyone still on it.Trowa's sign said -Yaiiiiiiiiiii!- while everyone else screamed in some way) and crossed some wires (by accident) and blew up the car, but miraculously came out unscathed. On the other hand, Joe was in the blast, and was the only thing to get affected by the blast other than the car (everything in the car, however was untouched. All Joe's stuff is still fine.except the car...which doesn't have insurance). And once again, Tisho emerged victorious. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean it," Tisho said in his cool exotic accent. "Shi-i-t!" Joe yelled, running towards his car. "My poor ca-a-a-a-ar!" The others came back and stared at it. Duo whistled, and Ashley asked calmly, "What happened here?" "My car-! Look at it!" "Where is it?" Cari wondered. "That's just it! There is no more car!" Joe put his fingers in his mouth and bit down hard on his fingers, moaning in a way that reminded them of someone losing a child, and in Ashley's cause, due to some extremely odd part of her insane logic, eggs. "It's not so bad." said Duo, always looking at the positive scheme. "It's certainly not good!" Joe argued, extremely pissed off, but not at Tisho because everyone loves Tisho. He chose instead to get mad at Wufei, who was unconscious, but got hit several times anyway while Joe vented. "It's okay, Charlie's waiting at the grill anyway. Maybe we should have walked," Cari said. "And miss out on all this fun shit? No way," Ashley laughed, because she is extremely vulgar and eats with a knife.  
  
**Meanwhile  
  
Heero, who was trying to be smart (unlike Wufei), dragged himself and the 'thing' clutching to his leg out of the parking lot and onto a sidewalk. There were people around.Man, Quatre was being annoying. "Where is he, Heero? I want my TROWA!" screamed Quatre, clutching to Heero's leg and crying like a little girl, not that that was a surprise or anything. "I dunno, now GET OFF MY LEG!" shouted Heero, shaking Quatre off his leg and running as fast as he could. He ended up in a place that looked more like a 'hang-out' for teenagers. There were people in there, and maybe a place to hide from Quatre. The sign on the outside read "Grill," but otherwise, Heero had no clue what this place was. Quatre followed Heero in, cautiously looking around, but Heero was doing that pillar support in the room. Soon, while Quatre was looking for Heero and Heero cleverly maneuvered into the boy's bathroom (where Quatre wouldn't follow for unmentioned reasons), Heero heard a squeal. It sounded something like "TROWA! I found you!" Heero groaned. "Well, at least he's off my back now." Heero cautiously peered out the side of the bathroom door, to see Trowa being molested by an over-excited Quatre. He was also standing with an odd crowd, including other Gundam Pilots. There was an overly hyper girl, a strange girl who kept saying "I like pie," a little short dude who Wufei kept glaring at, and a bunch of other people. One person looked strangely exotic and proud. Heero stepped out of the bathroom. "HEERO! I found my baby!" Heero gave Trowa a pitiful look, who was looking stressed, and holding up a sign that said -Help Me. Please. I can't take much more!- Heero was greeted by a loud chorus (well, including Trowa's sign -Hello-), and most of the people saying his name he didn't even know. "Who are you? Explain! Now!" said Heero in a monotone voice, putting a gun in front of the blonde's head. "AC. Hi." Cari gasped. "Please don't kill me, Heero!" "Why do you all know my name?" Heero asked the overly hyper girl, who should be the blonde but isn't. "You're the Gundam Pilot, Heero Yui. Also known as Pilot 01 and 'The Perfect Soldier.' You are very unemotional. Oh, and you have a TV show with the other GW pilots and Relena and Treize and Zechs and all those other people. I swear, that's all I know.and a bunch of other junk about you. Like-" Heero cut the girl short. She talked too much. Wufei suddenly smiled. Then another overly hyper person who was very stupid jumped on Heero's back. Heero spun around to face-a kid? "Who are you and what is your purpose?!" The kid looked at Heero strange. "My name's Evan. You're talking to my sister. I am annoying, that's it." Heero knocked the kid upside the head with his gun and turned back to the more important business. "So," asked Heero. "What did you do, Duo?" "What do you mean, what did I do? I didn't do jack shit!" said Duo, taking up a defensive pose. "He means, how did we get here? You had to have done it, Duo," said Quatre. Trowa held up a sign, -For once, I agree,- which was a mistake. Quatre took that as a "Trowa loves me" sign, and decided to squeeze the life out of Trowa in a bear hug. "I knew you loved me, Trowa!" shouted Quatre, who was extremely hyper. Trowa held up a sign and tried to get out of Quatre's grasp. -I don't love you, I just agree. Now get the HELL off me!- Quatre collapsed into a heap of tears on the floor of the Grill. "I knew it was too good to be true." "Now," continued Heero, ignoring the heap of blonde boy gay tears on the floor, "what did you do, Duo." "I dunno. I just saw this shiny red button, and I pressed it, and the next thing I knew we were floating, and one of Trowa's signs hit me in the head." "Stupid," shouted Ashley, hitting Duo on the head. "You NEVER press the big red button. It's like, a rule or something. NEVER. It's always bad! Of course, I woulda too." "Oh, so that's why there was a sign above the button that said 'Do not Touch.'" The rest of the people in the room, even the ones who were eavesdropping into the conversation, face faulted. "Oops." "So, what are we going to do now?" asked Quatre through his tears. The people that Heero still had not been introduced to smiled. "You can stay with us and enroll in the school," said the Chinese dude that everyone else knew as Joe. "Sure. Looks like we got no other choice," said Duo. "Yay! New peoples!" said the overly hyper girl that everyone else knew as Cherry. "Thank you Captain Obvious," said Charlie who came in mad that he had to wait for ten minutes while they drove up, hitting Cherry. "Oh, so your name is Captain Obvious?" asked Heero, turning to the hyper girl. Everyone face faulted. "Looks like we need to introduce you to a few people," said Joe, patting Heero on the back. Heero put a gun to Joe's head (and Wufei watched in interest). "Don't. Touch. Me." 


End file.
